Strawberries Accused of Going Soft
Thursday, February 27, 2025Allegations of softness have shaken the Strawberry Student Union. But is it a scandal, or simply a matter of ripeness?
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The Strawberry Student Union (SSU) faced criticism this week after several members were accused of “going soft” during the annual Fresh Fruit Debate.
Opponents claim the Strawberries failed to deliver the firm arguments they’re known for, with some suggesting the group had “lost their bite.”
“Strawberries used to be sharp, zesty voices on campus issues,” said Lemon Zest, a vocal member of the Citrus Coalition. “Now they just sit there, looking sweet, but collapsing under the slightest pressure. It’s disappointing.”
The SSU, however, dismissed the accusations as unfair stereotyping. “Ripeness is a natural process,” said spokesperson Berry Fields. “We’re not going soft—we’re maturing. There’s a big difference.”
Students are divided. Some argue that Strawberries are being unfairly judged for their natural shelf life, while others believe their influence in fruit politics is starting to wilt.
Meanwhile, whispers of a replacement fruit gaining popularity—Raspberries—have started circulating, further complicating the Strawberries’ image crisis.
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