Banana Declares Itself the Top Peel in Town - Other Fruits Left Slipping
Wednesday, April 16, 2025Local banana claims victory in annual fruit popularity contest. Apple demands a recount.
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In a bold (and slightly overripe) move, local banana Barry B. Peel declared himself “the most a-peel-ing fruit in Fruitville” during a surprise press conference held at the Farmers’ Market Pavilion on Monday morning.
“Let’s face it,” said Peel, confidently adjusting his sticker. “Kids love me. Smoothies worship me. I’m easy to peel, full of potassium, and I come with my own biodegradable packaging. The throne is mine.”
This unexpected self-crowning sent shockwaves through the Fruit Community, with representatives from Apple, Orange, and even Mango responding with mixed emotions.
“I’m not saying Barry isn’t popular,” said Granny Smith, spokesperson for the Apple Council. “But let's not forget who keeps the doctor away. One banana a day? That’s not a thing.”
Meanwhile, Orange representatives released a short but zesty statement: “We’re disappointed, but not bitter. Unlike lemons.”
Public reaction was split. A poll conducted by the Produce Popularity Board revealed a 52% approval rating for Banana’s claim, but skeptics argue that the surge was largely due to smoothie influencers on social media.
In response to the drama, a group of grapes staged a peaceful roll-out near the juice bar, holding signs that read “Don’t Split Us Up!” and “United We Vine.”
Despite the controversy, Banana remains firm on his stance. “This isn’t just about me,” he told reporters. “It’s about all bananas. We’ve slipped under the radar for too long.”
At press time, Barry was last seen basking in the fruit bowl spotlight, flanked by two enthusiastic kiwis and a starfruit bodyguard.
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